The monster within…

February 4, 2009

Kamillia went anxiously to the mailbox, hoping he had already written her back. To her surprise there was a letter waiting there for her. She nearly jumped for joy, overwhelmed with excitement. Taking the letter into her hands, she smiled brightly and hugged it against her chest. She did not open it right away. Instead she chose to wait until she was sitting in front of the Cathedral. Sitting on ‘their’ bench.

For a moment her slender hand rested on the place that he would be sitting if he were there with her. She sighed wistfully, wishing he was there. She had missed him greatly these past days. She was beginning to regret not having contacted him out of fear of distracting him from his work which he seemed so passionate about. Her hand rubbed over the smooth bench for another moment and her mind wandered to the night she met him. He was just as handsome then as he was now. She loved him more now, than she did then. So wary of her feelings, but no longer. Her heart belonged to him, and it always would.

Her thoughts finally faded to bring her back to the present. Anxious, excited fingers tore the envelope from the awaiting letter beneath it. She unfolded the paper. Emerald eyes darted over the lines of the letter.

In the pit of her stomach it felt as if someone had jabbed a punch directly to it. The wind exhaled from her mouth in a loud gust. She buckled over, letting the letter float out of her hand and to the ground. Her face contorted into a visage of disappointment and sadness. Her hopes were carried out on her breath as she sat there trying to catch it.

He would not be meeting with her tonight. He would be busy… This pain she felt in her chest wasn’t her illness. She felt jealous. How come he could not spare a moment for her? Was he really that busy? Was he avoiding her? Had she made him upset? But things seemed fine the other evening when they…

So many thoughts raced through her mind, and she couldn’t understand. She flipped over the sheet of paper and began to write her response. Her eyes wet behind the lashes as she wrote to him that she  understood. In honesty she did understand. Perhaps it was that she was being selfish and wanted all of his time during this moment in her life. Soon enough she would be well enough to travel with him. That thought alone made her smile. She would try on her armor today.


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