Stupid…

July 5, 2010

His hand brushed hers. Her fingers unknowingly curled outward to reach for his touch. The contact of his skin on hers made her shiver and bristle with a strange excitement. She hated how he always had that power over her. No matter how strong she attempted to be, he could always crumble her defenses. Her kneels would shake. Her breath would hasten, her heart pounding in her ears. She could only wonder if he knew the effect he had on her. When they were together he was the only one she saw.

His lips brushed delicately against hers. Such a teasing action. She thanked the gods for all her training for it was the only thing that held her together. She felt as though she would fall apart in front of him. How she wanted to return his light, loving affections, but thoughts brought her back to the reality of the situation. Thoughts of another and the past that still lingered in her heart.

She remembered the grief he had put her through. The rumors still buzzed in her ears. The sight of him in another one’s arms still seared into her memories. Looking at him, she could almost still see the slight framed priestess over his shoulder smiling at her with that wicked smile. That woman had lied to her and so had he. She battled with the thought of forgiveness for the past transgressions. They had taught her forgiveness in her training. All her life, the teachings of the Light were to show compassion to those who might trespass against you. To not seek divine retribution for those who had hurt you, but to offer humility. To forgive. She wondered if she could ever do such a thing.

His words blew across the back of her neck, the hairs on her skin standing up and causing her to nearly quake with a secret passion for this man. How he ignited her. She hoped that he could not see the torment he was putting her through. Every muscle in her body was tense from restraining herself. So easy it would be to give into her urges, to fall into his arms, to love him as she always wanted to. She knew that would be a terrible idea. There was too much that had been left unsaid, and too much that had been said. She knew too much and remembered more than she cared to. It was in these moments that she had secretly wished her memory never returned. Perhaps all of this might have been easier. To know this man as someone completely knew. To never have remembered the hurt and disappointment. Oh but his touch… the way his eyes sparkled as they looked at her. Gentle fingertips brushing away her ruddy locks from her emerald eyes. Watching his own deep brown pools travel over her features and along the outlines of her frame. She knew his thoughts from the windows of his eyes.

How stupid could I be. A simpleton could see that you are no good for me, but you are the only one I see.

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